"If You Have Time To Talk About Others, Then You Should Have Time To Try And Discover Yourself"--Stella Damascus

Story by Stella Damascus
Last Updated: Thursday, September 19, 2013

Sometimes I sit down and try to take stock of my life and its numerous stages.

It amazes me to see how far I have come even in the midst of the storm. God is indeed faithful to those who love and serve him.

Growing up was a bit funny for me outside the walls of my home. I grew up in a wonderfully balanced family with a lot of love and care from both my parents who were bankers, my older sisters who taught me so much and even my late kid brother even though his time was short.

For some reason I thought there was something wrong with me and I will tell you why.

I realized that, in school my name always came up whether or not I was a part of the issue. People just loved to talk about me, most of the time it was more negative than positive. Even if I was not guilty of whatever they accused me of, they would still go on and on.

This was such a huge problem to me as a young girl, to the point that I was not able to enjoy boarding school. I thought the world hated me and i did not fit in, and that was when I heard that people called me an "OSU", which means OUTCAST, just because of my surname.

That actually made me laugh at the end of the day seeing that most people did not even know the origin or history of my name.

After so many years of being paranoid about what people were saying about me, I finally opened up to my parents. My mother laughed so hard that I wondered if she heard a word of what I said.

That was when my father (God rest his soul) looked at me and said "have you taken a good look at yourself in the mirror? Have you not noticed how beautiful you are, or are you saying you do not know you are intelligent"?

At that point I just felt it was a normal encouragement line that a parent would give his child to make them feel better, but I soon realized it was far from it.

Then he said "can't you see that you are different because you are special? Do you need anyone to tell you how blessed you are?

My mother called me and said "there are three types of people in this world

A: those who were born to be talked about because of who they are

B: those who were born to talk about others because that is all they are

C: those who were born to observe because they don't know who they are

Which one would you rather be my dear?"

I smiled because I knew that I was a TYPE A.This is how I see it;

God the creator sets a mini clock on every human being, he opens his big shopping mall which is the earth. Then he gives us all a shopping list to go into the shopping mall and buy everything on our list.

He also sets the clock to a time which he knows should be enough for us to finish our shopping. Bear in mind that everybody has a different list, and from the moment he hands you the money (talent, skills, health, wisdom, brain, etc) and your list, your own clock starts to count.

So imagine that we have all come to this shopping mall, you see Stella walking in and out of shops buying the things on her list. Then you stop and start to laugh at her ugly shoes, you call your friends and start to talk about the old fashioned chair she bought. Stella walks past you again and you start to laugh at her cheap weavon and the fact that there is too much blue in her eye shadow.

In all of this you are so caught up in your psycho analysis and gossip about Stella, that you forget that your clock is still ticking away. Meanwhile the person you are talking about is trying her possible best to buy everything on her shopping list, and make it back home early before she runs out of time.

This is what will happen; Stella will finish buying the items in her list, and go home right on time. On the flip side, you who have wasted more than half your own time following someone around, so eventually, you will not be able to finish buying the things on your list before the shop closes and your time is up.

A lot of people have filled up the graves with DEAD DREAMS and VISIONS. They spend the life span and energy God has given them for their own purpose on others and waste time minding other people's business.

It is so sad and painful but most importantly it does not make sense to me especially for adults.

Some people say it is as a result of joblessness but I disagree. I insist that if you have time to talk about others, then you should have time to try and discover yourself, spend time knowing who you are.

What is your purpose on earth?

What are you supposed to be doing at this point in your life?

Are you Satisfied with where you are right now?

Are you doing what you have always wanted to do?

Are you adding value to people around you?

Are you ready to take your situation to the next level?

What do you want to be remembered for?

What are your ambitions?

Have you accomplished up to half the things you set for yourself?

Trust me if you spend your time trying to answer all these questions and work on them, you will find that you won't have time for idle talk, you will also realize that you don't have enough hours in a day to do the things you really want to do especially the things that you love.

I know who I am and I have no apologies for it. So I hope you will make it out of the shopping mall at the right time with your items complete.

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Me noni
9/19/2013 5:56:11 PM
For ur mind now, al d r*****h u wrote make sense, sho! So e don tey u start d r*****h, frm ur boarding school days? Ehn ehn u don turn pro be dat o. Please I think the best thing is to start living right, make positive impact n stop disgracing ur fellow women, so that people will c u in new light and speak positive abt u. This also shows u follow up on d juicy gist about u n it gives u sleepless nights but pls amend ur ways, God bless!
9/19/2013 7:25:45 PM
Stella i bet everything you hear about urself gives u sleepness night and that what cause all these irrelevant write up.There is a say my mum used to tell me that (IF EVERYONE KNEW WHAT EVERYONE WAS SAYING ABOUT EVERYONE,NOBODY WILL SPEAK TO ANYONE)so stella if your conscience does not disturbe you,i suggest u shut up already and let us be.Many things are written abt actresses everyday why none of them come out like u.This your damage control will not work.
word of wisdom indeed!!
9/20/2013 7:19:18 PM
Do you call this irrelevant? It is indeed a word of wisdom. This could indeed be liken to the kingdom of God. Some people are called to glory having fulfilled their purpose in life while others die chasing irellivant things. Like Kora, Datan and Abiram were busy gossiping/judging about moses andwere wiped from the face of the earth. May God help us.
Fat face stella
9/21/2013 8:15:07 AM
We are here to torment you due to ya bad disssssgusting behaviour which includes asshewoing and husband snatching! What you write here is bollocks and you know it! You aint as important as you think. As a matter of fact you are trash so if you like o brag about ya stewpid nonsense life its all lies cos your parents were poor and ya upbringing is not great....cos if ya upbringing was great you will not be doing bonnie n clyde with another womans hubby or be fhucking men all over the place! I didnt read ya stewpid essay sha cos i know they are all lies! Infact sef shatdafhuckup ugly fat faced beitch!!!
9/20/2013 3:29:02 AM
How dare you say you do not know why people say negative things about you when you are always involved in negative activities, like snatching Doris's husband all under the guise of working with him ?
By all the known metrics of weighing a true African woman, Stella you are an Osu, over and again.
And could you just shut your dirty mouth up and stop trying to right your wrongs ?
Stella, one last question who killed your shame ?
Perhaps, Jaiye's passing, right ?
9/19/2013 6:00:12 PM
Madam, you need to get off our faces now seriously, I think you are doing all ds to remain relevant, shopping basket or no shopping basket, shopping list or not, oh please, is it your conscience pricking u this hard? enough pls and disappear into oblivion, we are tired of u, people talk about everyone even the dead, like you don't talk bout others? Gerrout joooooor
words of wisdom
9/19/2013 6:03:50 PM
Thanks for the motivational thoughts. I also love your discussion online about those phedophiles using religion to abuse young children. God bless you.
You again?!!
9/19/2013 6:15:41 PM
As the saying goes 'If You're Not Talked About Jesus Don't Know You Exist' (not sure if that is true) Anyhoo.....And i'm pretty sure FORCED ENTERTAINMENT is one of the seven deadly sins so PISS OFF already Stella!
you are look for notice
9/19/2013 6:23:26 PM
Stella all this nonse write up can not save you, leave Doris husband for her
9/19/2013 6:37:16 PM
U ain't guilty dear
9/19/2013 6:49:15 PM
Dat was quite an inspiration Ella. Der was so much of wisdom in evrything u said, if i must confess. I knw u're innocent of d rumours i hear abt u. I blame Doris 4 jumping to conclusions abt u n her ex-husband. Marriage shouldnt b abt divorce bt hw it can stand d test of tym. Dnt wori, i believe God wil vindicate u sme day.
9/19/2013 6:50:00 PM
Nonsense,stella i used to like u a lot.u were one of my role models wen i was much younger but now am soo disappointed in u coupled with wat u did to doris
Nonsense koromiwe
9/19/2013 7:01:31 PM
Stop all ds nonsense and face reality Stella
hi stella
9/19/2013 8:02:14 PM
only \God nos the true abt everthing people are bein sayin abt u don worry face ur life andbelieve in urself.
9/19/2013 8:47:33 PM
You just started, this your poem shows you are dying inside. i***t, your consecience is disturbing you, it shows you are restless.
re: stella
9/20/2013 7:25:01 PM
It is not stalla that is dying.lol! She is living her life the way she is destined to either people like it or not.
Stella Damages
9/19/2013 9:45:07 PM
You talk trash because your conscience disturbs you ,That is if you have a good conscience. You depraved that young boy the chance to grow up in a complete home that is with his father and mother loving tender care. There are marital probs in the home but husband and wife still make up because of no intruder, You are now the intruder who did not give the the man the chance to make up with the wife. Some people celebrate 10 yrs in marriage and thats because they are lucky they did not get intruders like you.You are intruder stella. Whatever you sow your children will reap.
Oby madu
9/19/2013 9:50:23 PM
You go girl keep doing you
Sermon on the mountain
9/19/2013 10:09:15 PM
You are very crafty and all those sermons are meaningless.When they talk of good women or Role models you don't fall into those category at all.Your moyher can tell you whatever.How many celebrity come up with silly talks like you have done above? You tried to snatch RMD from Jumobi but you did not succeed Otherwise you would have scatter that home long ago.Why did you make married men you target?
Mama youngy
9/19/2013 10:13:05 PM
All these slimming because of Daniel? You want to be slimmer than Doris? well try harder. Will you also reduce the age? Daniel so you love recycled products?Na your choice
s****d write up
9/19/2013 10:18:48 PM
Why do you care about what people say if u are not gulit. STOP all this written and concrete on f*****g daniel. Who care about type of pple in the world and shopping mall.
Leave her alone pls
9/19/2013 10:45:37 PM
Leave her alone, you people should look for a jobb and stop all these gosip about Stella. No one is perfect here on earth. She is not perfect and you are perfect either. So people back off.
Omo Oba
9/19/2013 11:15:33 PM
I consider this piece great. See how some people can convert their liabilities to asset. This lady has the most haters on this site. I understand she was disturbed by all that have been written about her, I also do not support the way she started a relationship with Doris husband, especially when the two were still together, but I appreciate this write up. It is brilliant, especially the analogy with shopping in the mall. She has sent message to those that carry others baggages and pull their own. Wrong priority. The truth is that you carefully crafted your message for your haters and it is left for them to see the points you raised. Half of a word is enough for the wise.
ahahaha stella
9/19/2013 11:57:46 PM
i think it very ridicule bcz i dont see anybody not doing what they are suppose to do with their life and waste their life bcz they are gossiping abt her,in fact i don come back from work and i cooked,ate with my hubby and now relaxing and not gossiping but examining your s****d write up.i have done my shopping and we all know after shopping u get tired and relax,so while relaxing i am entitled to do whatever the fhuck i want,gossip,sleeping,eating,admiring notin do me
i believe u mentor
9/20/2013 9:45:57 AM
ehhh stella u stole my words ehh, lwkmd well all what u said here was exactly what i told a girl nd her mother they have abandon them selves nd have concentrated on me nd my marriage saying how it is nd how long it will last nd i just told them what u just quoted right now, so my dear i over agree with u cos this same pepo have the most miserable life, this is why they pour out their anger on others wait oooh did i tell u the gurl in question is a b*****d her mum told her she doesn't know her dad cos they meet in a party nd did it once nd ever since then she hasn't set eyes on him ,even the second daughter d same story nd they gossip about others as if they are life giver, my dear life is too short to worry over i***ts so Stella be happy, have fun like there is no tomorrow that is what my hubby told me nd am doing it now nd trust me when u smile it kills them all so keep that smile on nd on that is the weakling point of haters
9/20/2013 12:18:07 PM
THIS MESSAGE IS FOR LALALAND AND LOLO & CO. HAHAHAHA "If You Have Time To Talk About Others, Then You Should Have Time To Try And Discover Yourself"
Listen here...
9/21/2013 8:07:56 AM
Fat face stella is tormentes by our comments to korret her nasty behaviour thats why the ashewo is writing sheit as usual!! Mtcheeew!
true talk
9/20/2013 1:11:07 PM
true talk stella,God bless you.
guilty conscience
9/20/2013 4:00:18 PM
stella ur conscience is killing u. Do d right thing and leave Doris husband. Why do u prefer married men to single guys? If u think another woman will not snatch Daniel from u then ur dreaming. Karma will surely strik, Juju or no juju.
True talk
9/21/2013 7:05:06 AM
Dat's true talk my pretty stella.. Don't mind d haters dat won't focus on deir lives instead dey re busy intruding in2 sum1 else's affair.
Stop deceivn ur self,,
9/24/2013 2:31:33 PM
Stella, if wt der wrote is true & ds type of dirty attitude is what u hv in ur list den u ar unlucky, keep on purchasing ur dirty items until it lead u 2 hell. Wt about life after death, d legacy u ar lvn at d end & de kind of home u prepared 4 ur soul, one suppose 2 ask his/ her self all ds. U can still be very rich y bn virtue.

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