Why marriages of celebrities' crash ---Chidi Ihezie-Okafor
Story by RITA OKAFOR
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Chidi Ihezie-Okafor


She’s a talented, sultry actress, presenter and the CEO of Sochis Beauty Salon and Spa Center.

Married to a loving husband with two kids, Chidi Ihezie-Okafor has being in the Nigerian movie industry for 16 years. Her role in Billionaires Club in 2003 catapulted her into the limelight and since then, she has featured in countless movies including: My in-law, Deceiver, I’m in love, Fire on the mountain, 100% husband ---and many more.

In a recent chat with RITA OKAFOR, in her Akwonjo home, this Imo State born diva revealed the secret behind her successful marriage amidst several broken relationships of her colleagues, why she took a break from her acting career, her pet projects and other issues.
Ecerpts:

Busy year

This year, I have being very busy doing other things aside acting. That’s the major reason I have not featured in movies lately. You know, it’s not easy to be a wife, mother, actress, considering other roles attached to them. Honestly, it has been very challenging.

I had to reject some of the jobs that would take me outside Lagos, so I could devote more time to my kids and husband. Right now, they are my priorities; they come before any other thing, business, acting or whatever. I wouldn’t say I regret the break because the joy of seeing my kids grow around me is incomparable.

My in-laws love kids because they are not many in the family, so I intend to give them what they desire and deserve.This year was their year; I will surely bounce back early next year, by the grace of God. Many of my fans have being calling to know why I my face has been scarce in the entertainment industry. They thought I had quit acting. I have not; I just went for a short break.

Other projects

I have other projects at hand at the moment, so you see I am not just sitting at home, baby nursing.I was a presenter at Ogene T.V in Daarsat, alongside Florence Onuma. It is called Ejirimara. It’s a medium where we interview and chat with Igbo speaking celebrities in their local language.

Few months ago, I opened Sochis Beauty and Spa Center, where ladies could walk in and make their hair, nails, body massage, facials and other body beautifications. It has not being easy running the centre, but I thank God, because it has been wonderful so far.

I decided to try my hands on other things because I don’t want to depend solely on my acting career. Though my husband is up and doing, I am only trying to support him the little way I can. I really found the beauty center very helpful.

My husband & I

I got married to my husband 10 years ago and since then, we have been living together peacefully like brother and sister.
My husband is very understanding and supportive. He understands the nature of my job more than I do. Most times, I bring my scripts home to him and we go through them together, he also coaches me on how to go about it.

When I informed him of my plan to go into another business alongside acting, he gave me all the necessary assistance; financially, emotionally and otherwise. Our marriage is over a decade old now, yet it seems like yesterday, we have grown to be fonder of each other.

Why marriages of celebrities' crash

Most times people get married for the wrong reasons. Some women marry their husbands because of his fat account or his position. When the money is gone, that would be the beginning of their marital problems. Some may end up marrying the wrong man or woman.

Another major cause is pride. Some women are not submissive. Even the Bible gave the man authority over the woman and the women were told to be submissive to their husbands. But when the reverse is the case, what do you expect?

A marriage without God, is standing on sinking sands, anything could happen at anytime. My joy is that I am convinced that I married my own husband and not another person’s, that’s why my marriage is not shaking.

I try as much as I can to say sorry, even when my husband offends me, I would be the first to say sorry to him, just to make peace reign. Some women find that move very difficult to make.

One other thing we fail to understand is that the men like being in charge. So, you have to give them all the respect and authority they deserve if you want your marriage to last long.

Challenges

There is no work without challenges. Combing the roles of a wife, mother, actress and beauty shop C.E.O has not being easy. But my husband has been very supportive, both at home and in my shop. There are certain things he helps me to do. Since I don’t have a house help, my husband and I do most of our house chores together. Then, here in my shop, I have to be there always to attend to my numerous customers.

Although, I have staff that specialize in diverse positions but most times, my customers would want me to be there for them. Most especially my colleagues in Nollywood, they call to confirm my presence in the shop before they would come to patronize me.

I'll be back in Nollywood

Like I said earlier, by next year, I will surely bounce back to my acting career either as an actress or producer or both. I have missed going to locations to shoot because it’s lots of fun being with my colleagues acting and chatting. Most of my colleagues still come around to spend some time with me. I still enjoy few advantages as a celebrity. I go to parties or occasions and still enjoy the advantages of an actresses.

Quarrelsome actresses

Yes, I have heard much about the quarrels and backbiting dominating the Nigerian movie industry these days. But I am not involved. I greet whosoever comes my way. I often go to AGN (Actors Guild of Nigeria) office to know how they are faring. I don’t have problems or keep malice with anyone, be you an actress, producer, director or whoever.

I don’t’ have time to fight, quarrel or exchange words with anyone, because I strongly believe that what is for me will never pass me by.
If a particular role, is the problem I will leave for the person fighting over it, if God has stated that it would be for me, there is nothing that person would do to change that.

The movie that brought me to limelight, I didn’t drag it with anyone, so why now that I could still feature in as many movies as I want.
But the fact that I am gentle and easy going doesn’t meant that people should start stepping on my toes to know what I would do. As much as I would not fight you, I would make sure I tell you something that you will never stop thinking about.

Click for Full Image Size

Tochi (Chidi Ihezie -left) and Benson (Clem Ohameze) look surprised when Tochi's father, Echidime (Nkem Owoh -below) catches them together.

Click for Full Image Size

Echidime spies his daughter and Benson together at the newsstand




Do you have a story/gist for publication? Please email it to story@nigeriafilms.com

Good
Platinum | 9/5/2010 5:40:08 AM
I think i love her. she is a good woman and not much has been said about her bic her life is so transparent,
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Shut up!
Jane | 9/7/2010 6:23:18 PM |
Chidi,plz just shut up. It seems to me that you are just boasting. If your marriage is working out just thank God. It is not bcos u know better than others. Eucharia Ekwu married a koboless man. She fed and cloth him for 7years. The thank you she got was beating and abandonment. Monalisa did not marry a millionare either. Yet the man never respected her.

A f*****h man is a f*****h man. When u keep saying sorry even when he is wrong u are reducing urself to a slave and a f*****h man will soon take advantage of that.

Ten years of marriage u have only 2 kids and u say u want to give ur in laws many kids.
In that 10 years u would have had 5 kids if u really want to fill the house with kids.

You see, certain issues are beyond human control - marriage and fruitfulness. Otherwise, if it were in ur power u would have had ten kids by now.
So shut up and stop criticing those whose marriage didnt work. You dont know what they have been through.
r*****h.
No, You Shut Up
Naija Boy | 9/8/2010 1:26:31 AM |
Just listen to yourself. I have observed you havent had anyone to support your views. Its not because they havent read it, but I'm pretty sure they couldnt find any sense in it and they know its utter r*****h.

If you want to get the distinction grade for marriage, you better start to include sacrifice in your dictionary of personal qualities. It is the most important if you want your marriage to be successful in every way ON THE LONG RUN.

My mother did the same and she lived happily ever after, without any remorse for doing that. Its not easy to put up with a man who doesnt appreciate the respect and devotion you have to him, but I'm pretty sure your children dont want another man to be referred to as their father. I'm sure neither do they want to live with mum ONLY without a BIOLOGICAL FATHER FIGURE to identify with.

Think about this!!!
@Naija boy
Whatever | 9/8/2010 12:45:03 PM |
Only your s****d girlfriend will do that r*****h. Apologise for what if you haven't done anything? I will rather raise my children on my own that to have some1 who treats me like a slave. As for your mother. It's good what she was doing, but for heaven's sake, that was then so things have changed.
@Jane
True | 9/8/2010 12:41:40 PM |
What Jane is saying is very true. How can you apologise for being right? That is just so f*****h and unreal. Chidi should just shut up and apreciate that she is still married and hope she will remain married forever. Criticising other people's marriages is just not on.

Who gave her the bloody authority to be a shrink anyway? She is just being too much and it's not funny.
i love u (143)
medrose johnson | 9/5/2010 8:17:40 PM
i love u so much as u r a good n quiet actress.the above movie n im in love ,makes me laugh nomatter how stress i am .those two movies really courages me.keep it up love n op 2 see u next yr as u said .god s willing
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my best actress
Biabia | 9/5/2010 10:01:44 PM
This lady is one of my favorite actress in Nollywood, she is just natural i love her acting. best luck in with your family.
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God bless u amen
beyonce | 9/5/2010 10:41:56 PM
u most have a good nigerian husband and from ur words i love u,u are wise chidinma u are like ur name,God bless u and may he perfect that he has started in ur marriage.
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God bls ur hom
Abanishe | 9/5/2010 11:00:03 PM
I love n respect women who adore n gv respect 2 their hubby n thats d seceret God is blessing ur hom wt peace may dat peace continueing in ur hom in JN. The bible say what God has join 2gether let no man put assunder. I declare over ur marriage every assunder or intruder in ur marriage be consume by fire in JN. God wl gv u d strentgth u need 2 keep ur hom in JN. Shalom
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role model
winnie | 9/6/2010 4:02:27 PM
Complete African woman. Tell them pls
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role model
Roselyn | 9/7/2010 11:07:16 AM
i like her she is self-discipline
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Hullo
Ritah - Uganda | 9/7/2010 2:59:21 PM
Hullo Mrs i do adore you and you really inspire many souls with your mature thinking
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Role Model
Emy | 9/9/2010 3:57:23 PM
Bravo,you ae a sign of what a good and loving wife chould be.Keep it up and GOD will definetly bless you more
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why marriage of celebrities
festusufoma | 9/17/2010 2:07:25 PM
JANE, OR WETIN U CALL YOURSELF, na jealousy go kill u. see your mouth like keyholder.
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Love this woman
Theo | 9/17/2010 5:01:38 PM
This woman has fine features, she has natural beauty,thank God for that.but oops! stop that business of saying sorry when you know you are right,don't be a slave,stand your ground soon he will know what you tolerate and don't! The result will be pleasing for both of you.
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CHILDISHNESS
AMY | 9/24/2010 5:48:17 PM
I THINK ITS JANE OF A PERSON IS THE MOST CHILDISH PERSON IN THIS NETWORK. SHE HAS NOT TASTED MARRIAGE IM SURE BUT I TELL U HER TYPE IS THOSE THAT WILL BEG A MAN, DIRECTLY TO MARRY THEM. AND WHEN THEY RELUCTANTLY AGREE, THEY WILL DO ANY THING TO KEEP THEM. SEE HER MOUTH
ITS ONLY A MATURED LADY THAT WILL GIVE HER HUSBAND RESPRCT,LOVE AND OBEDIENCE AT ANY TIME. WOMEN CAN ALSO CONTRIBUTE TO MAKE THEIR MARRIAGES WORK BY APPOLIGISING EVEN THEM THEY DIDNT DO WRONG AND A RESPONSIBLE MAN, SEEING THAT WILL NEVER HURT HER. SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ALL THESE ACTRESS....TOO MUCH PRIDE. THATS WHY THEIR MARRIAGES GO ASORROWING
GOOO CHIDI IM SOLIDLY BEHIND YOU. IM ALSO MARRIED AND GOD HAD BLESS MINE TOO
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Tell them d secret of marriage
Fanta from Sierra Leone | 10/4/2010 2:33:04 PM
Chidi tell them d whole secret of marriage. Because even d Quran and d Bible set it out clearly dat woman should be submissive to their husband so dat ur children will be blessed and also, when u are submissive to ur husband, d gate of heaven is open for u because when u respect ur husband, ur going to heaven is asured so says the word of God. So pls chidi keep telling dem d secret. At times u need to over sight things in order to maintain ur relationship not dat u are a f**l but u just have to do it for peace to reign ok.
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response
Akim | 11/3/2010 2:14:24 PM
why in the world would someone refer to having two children as ONLY and FRUITLESSNESS. If you don't have any, please pray that you get blessed with one.
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nice1
lopexfishbourne | 12/15/2010 8:28:28 AM
@jane, u ae very f*****h
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God bless ur marriage
Edna Okeke | 1/30/2011 5:42:29 PM
My dear, U just hit the nail on the head, Pride, materialism and western views is the problem that celebrities marriages are facing, some are not submissive to their spouses forgetting that this is Africa, where men controls the home, some are too proud just becos they are actress, forgetting that the pride of a woman is her husband.
As for Jane! she should get married first before saying things that is too big for her. Keep it up God will continue to bless your family.
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Chidi
Esere NNEATO | 10/26/2011 11:06:23 PM
(I quote)Livn in harmony was a privilage given 2 each other.So my dear keep on respectn him.D reason y marriage of others collaps is msundastandn of one.it perhaps wife fault or husband,B/c negativity can't work wit positivity.So chidi I pray 2 God 2 bles me wit a wife as u ar.
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