Yesterday, Linda Ikeji published a story about how and why she got pregnant out of wedlock despite preaching against it, she also talked about her relationship with her son’s father. She apologized to the young women looking up to her and promised to do more good to help young women.

There has been a massive backlash since her story, and in the midst of it all, these are some lessons I think young women can learn. Fell free to add yours in the comment section.

Lesson 1 – Be kind to people, have empathy, you never know when the table will turn on you.

The main reason Linda Ikeji is receiving so much criticism is not that she got pregnant without being married; it is because she has also mocked and criticized so many women who got pregnant as single women. Countless women have suffered public humiliation and depression because of what she wrote about them.

Lesson 2 – If you have not been in someone else’s shoes, you can never know where it hurt. Everyone has a story behind the mistakes they made.

Linda’s story is very touching; no one’s deserves to be treated unfairly by a man she loves. But the truth is, she has also ridiculed so many women without considering their own stories as well. All the baby mamas she shamed and labelled also have their own stories, but she never gave them a chance to tell their own stories before feeding them to the internet trolls.

Lesson 3 – Don’t live on validation from others

Craving validation from other people is what will make you present your life as being perfect and better than other people’s lives when it is not. Craving validation from other people is what will make you say things that are not true about yourself so that people can look up to you. No one is perfect, live your life, do your best and let others be.

Lesson 4 – Own your shit!

As an adult you need to learn to own your choices, when they turn out good and when they turn out not so good. Stop playing the victim and blaming everyone for your choices that didn’t work out the way you expected. Stop trying to get validation and pity to justify your choices. Learn your lessons, count your blessings and move on.