Some ladies are usually very beautiful and smart. But they do not find suitable suitors of their age. They prefer older men with 20 or more years age gap. Ladies in this shoe have this preference for many reasons. While some date older men because of their honest feelings towards each other, some do so for material gains and to make ends meet. Some just like older men because they feel they are more mature and responsible. Some of these men divorce their wives for these young ladies whom they see as ‘fresh fish’ (because of their fresh blood and youthful bodies). One thing that is rampant is that when these older men and younger women marry, these younger women still go on to seek sexual satisfaction from men of their age.
Hersay asked for both men and ladies opinion on this issue. Excerpts:
Joel Dafisu: Most of these older men feel it is easier to find love, respect and obedience in younger women. The women look out for father figures, councillor brother figures, experienced and companionship in older men. I think it depends on the intensity of the emotions felt by the people involved.
Opeyemi Ojo: I am not a fan of this type of relationship, but I think most women do this because they have this mindset; “he is more mature, he will take care of me, and he will be more loving and all that.” But for me I do not feel comfortable dating older men. I just feel the gap is too much and I might not enjoy the relationship. The flow will be lost.
Bernard Oghara: I think it shows lack of dignity. It means such ladies don’t know their worth because if they do, they would not do such. They are living their future today, so in the future; there will be nothing to live for.
Tofunmi Okunade: If the lady is comfortable introducing the old man to her parents, family members and friends that is fine. But come to think of it, which lady in this present world would want to show an old man to the ‘olori ebi’ family head at home without them thinking that she is mad? I don’t think it is something the women doing it can be proud of. Most of them get involved in such for money and material gains.
Kayode Babalola: Young girls don’t just date older men; it is because they have no choice. If at all they do, maybe they are taking a risk in order to find true love or maybe they have been hurt a lot of times by guys of their age and feel they have to try another option. I do not think there is anything like love at first sight; you just admire the person first. So, when older men start to date younger girls, they try to continue their relationship to see if it is going to be a success or not. They might be right for each other, who knows? However, young girls should be careful because not everyone’s true character shows on their face.
Arike Olabisi: It is not good; it is not acceptable by God. It is better the lady gets married because those sugar daddies would not marry her, they would rather destroy her life.
Samuel Arowosafe: I don’t think it is a bad thing because in life there is a reason for everything, and if you check those women dating older men, it is for a reason, maybe they are rich or influential or there is something special about them. It will be very difficult before you see a young lady dating an old bricklayer.
Deborah Adekanmbi: There is nothing wrong with this practice. A man and a woman can have age differences if they want, it is an offence only when the lady is below 18 years or if their relationship is not open which means the man is married and having an affair outside his marriage.
Praise Ogunreku: It is not too safe, but if they love and have respect for each other, I do not think it is bad. Also, their foundation should be God before they get married.
Kemi Adepoju: It is actually not a big deal and it depends on the people involved. I can do it inasmuch as there is love. If I love him and he loves me too. I also believe it is a matter of choice and everyone has a right to do whatever he or she wants to do.
Esther Opeyemi: I do not think there is anything in it for a younger woman dating older men. In this age, people will say it is love, but I think it is greediness on the part of the man and destruction on the part of the woman. I think people practising such should desist.
Funmilayo Akinsanya: People say it is love but to me, it is not a good idea. People also say love is blind, but I think in such relationships, the level of dominance of the man is always higher than normal.
Segun Okeowo: There is nothing in it. It is normal to love and marry whosoever you wish to.
Adedeji Olorunyomi: It is not a big deal in Europe because age is not necessarily a barrier to dating and marriage and family factors are not attached to marriage. But in Africa, it is a really big deal for a person to take someone much older home because the parents, family and customs may not allow it. In my own opinion, I do not think it is good.
Ireoluwa Akinbode: I don’t see anything wrong in it. If they understand and complement each other, they can go ahead with their relationship but if she is cheating someone else by dating him, that is when I consider it as wrong.