•Continued from last week
What has ego got to do with the family?
Men and their ego?
Exactly. So we have to eat. That’s all and we don’t need long discussions and visitations about that. I think it is common sense. I sincerely believe it is common sense. I am doing something, my wife is doing something. I am totally involved and looking, if there is anything I can do or say to help.
Of course that is what I’m looking at. If I need to take notes, I will take notes. Whatever it is that we need to make it work better, yes! That is what I am all about , and I don’t know of any other way. There are people who still want to go to work, come back and sit down and want their wives to pound yam for them. It’s not possible.
But there are many who will say, though I don’t make enough money but you my wife, don’t work, we will manage whatever I make?
It depends on the goals of the family. If that goes with the goals of the family, then fine but if it doesn’t , the husband has to explain why they should be subjected to that order when it is possible for them to earn more.
You allow Aunty Joke to be herself any time she wants to ?
Of course, but that is the joy of it . That is why Joke Silver is Joke Silver . As the actress and Mrs. Jacobs. When she is with me, when you see her fans and everybody, they see Joke Silver, she must enjoy that. It is her job, it is what she has achieved.
Some people even wonder why I allow her use Joke Silver instead of Joke Jacobs.
I don’t need to allow her , it’s her name. She is using her name. I knew her as Joke Silver before we got married and when we got married she became Mrs. Jacobs and she is still Mrs. Jacobs but the actress Joke Silver. It is as simple and straight forward as that.
But for some men, it may be different isn’t it ?
That is their own problem, they have a problem. You have to allow each individual to breath within a relationship . I own you, I swallow you, means we are together, means we are friends, means we share, means we think of us first, before we think of anybody. When we carry ownership to the extremes , then we are in serious trouble.
So are you saying women cannot be totally owned ?
( laughs) Owned? Are they biros or what? What are you talking about. Sam, o ga o.
But I thought when people get married and pay the bride price…?
You are saying I want to share my life with this young lady, whom I have discovered is from you. So the other family will look at you and look at your family and say we like your son to share his life with our daughter and then the family now will become friends to help in that relationship. That is what I believe it to be. Anything else is slavery and that has been abolished.
Marriages seem to be crashing more in Nollywood and Nollywood couples are supposed to be role models?
Me, I don’t know of any marriages that have crashed in Nollywood. Couples I know are still together. Oge has just had her baby, a baby girl and we are all happy people.
What about Monalisa?
I don’t know. Honestly I did not know at all, because there were rumors about this that was what I knew.
Do you have anything to do with the glamour of the entertainment industry?
Well the only thing I can think of is the fact that we are in the news. How many doctors do you hear whose marriages have broken, how many accountants, how many directors, do you know? You don’t hear about them, but because we are in the news, it looks as if we are the ones who have always had broken marriages. For me, even one is unfortunate and I’m really sorry to hear that, because she is a very nice girl. I know her, wonderful lady, I like her very much and we’ve worked very well together.
Can you recall anytime you’ve had friction in your marriage?
We are always having things like that from time to time, because we pray very strongly about our family, about ourselves, what we care about , what my wife cares about, for me and what I care about . We go through quite a lot; our children are settling down gradually by the grace of God. The youngest is settling down in his final year.
What is your advice for young people who are trying to settle down now?
I think the most important thing for our young men and women is patience. Though we may think we have been patient enough, but we should be more patient . It can never be too much.
What happened at a time when it was rumored that your marriage had packed up?
We were not happy about reading that and Joke was very upset but I told her to calm down, because something started it and they’ve not old us what it is. Maybe if they tell us what it is, we will be able to answer but the most important thing is that we know that there is nothing wrong with us.
Are you saying nothing actually happened at that time?
Nothing! Absolutely nothing.
Are you happy with your wife sir?
Yes! I am but I can be happier.
What will make you happier?
It will make me very, very happy to see that our kindergarten and elementary students including those in the villages have quality education. That is what will make me most happy.
What about you; what will happen to you as a person ?
That I’ll be sixty-eight makes me very happy and I want to devote the rest of my life to make sure that the aforementioned happens. That is what will make me most happy.
Are you fulfilled, as a person and as an actor?
I’m getting fulfilled as a person and as an actor….
People say when we get older, there is this race to want to leave a legacy, do you have that urge to want to achieve more ?
I’m still doing the things that I started so many years back, so I want to do more of the things that I’ve been doing. I want to make sure that we leave a legacy for our children to be more confident, more knowledgeable in whatever they do.
When you are in our business, it enlightens you and widens your horizon. You know more about life, about human beings, about what you are doing than in other professions. I’m very happy, I like that and I will want that to continue. That’s one of the reasons why Wale is trying to get sources from France that will sustain them , that will keep them going even while one is gone.
Do you ever think of death or life after you?
I know it’s nearer now than it was 20 years ago, that’s what I worry about. I try to take care of my health and look at myself in the morning and say okay, I’m still kicking.
Are you afraid of death or something?
I don’t know . I lost my daughter. I’m not supposed to lose my daughter, my daughter was supposed to lose me. So, I’m living with that, my wife and I, we are living with ko easy. We had two children, one before she died and one after. The new one is like a replica of her, except that he is a boy. To ban re’ erin war obi girl yen ni,to ba’n soro, wa r’obi girl yen ni. God is wonderful. He is in secondary school now. So we are happy.