I know it ,you know it and everybody detest to say it ,but can we just continue mumbling and our family value and life goes to the dog ?.
Marriage is a sacred institution ,bed undefilled and adultery is a taboo,infact it is unheard of for a married woman to be having sex outside her matrimonial home and expect the man to do nothing or say nothing ,that is reactional CORRECT, but we are not about to discuss correctness ,we are to discuss -MARRIAGE FROM SURVIVAL PERSPECTIVE.
Today i am going to say things nobody wants to hear about sex outside marriage ,by his grace my ministry includes MARRIAGE COUNSELLING and i thank God for always giving me mind and energy to see marriage from different prism.I am sorry if i hit raw nerves ,i am not about to fine tune words ,employ euphemistic terms and soothe the nerves of people ,instead i am going to lay it bare on the table and save us some marriages that are on the brink of collapse.
i will approach this issue from different angle ,i know many may disagree with me ,but help me and help yourself and read to end ,all in the search for a better family and maturity of the mind.
HOW ABOUT IF YOU CAUGHT YOUR WIFE WITH A BOYFRIEND ?
Well you did not marry an angel ,neightier were you an angel yourself .The thing about marriage is that devil always plan on destroying it at every moment,but because we took an oath which provides
"I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. "
If you catch your wife doing it with another man ,i know and agree that it is enough to call the marriage quit ,but let me ask you ,and then what ?
You will go and marry a brand new Virgin that no man has ever browse on her website ? or you will not marry again for fear of having another man browse on your FACEBOOK ?.
Then do what when the quest to SURF WEB occurs ?.
Some men will divorce a woman for infidelity and marry a divorced woman, and, i wonder what is wrong with the man,s head ? ,how come you sold your dog because it ate vomit and you buy another dog that eat shit for breakfast,lunch and diner ?.
So what is Mazi Odera trying to suggest ? ,i am saying that ,if you catch your wife on such enviroment ,even on top of action ,the best action is to breath three times and punish her by not talking about it and never think about it .it is water under the bridge .
Consider what you saw as a brush pass ,consider it a flash in a pan ,something of no consequence,something that is beneath you and something that matters not.
Because any action you take has a consequence and stigma on your life and has an everlasting negative effect on your children.
Come with me ,it is very difficult to do ,but which one is better ? ,to drive her away and marry another one ? ,how do you know that the new one is not worst that the one you just vacated ?,if it is my case ,i will simply do nothing but to pray for her because i will consider her sick.I will know she needs deliverance ,but if she think that i will divorce her ,so that i will start raising the children we brought to this world as couple alone ,then she must have smoked something more nasty than weeds.
What will i tell the kids when they grew up and ask about the mother ? that my own wife whom i married by myself,whom i swore to uphold for better and for worse slept with another man ?,i will ask my self ,did THE MAN CUT OFF THE THING AND CARRIED IT AWAY or what he did which left no scar or parmanent damage, and for that i shred my family to pieces because i allow devil to offer me advise.
Some will hop off and tell friends,relations and anybody that cares to listen ,but hear me ,there are worst shit that happens in your friends family and he kept his lips sealed ,why you prefer to use your family for a drinking session.
Let,s say she take the kids and raise them ,let me ask us ,raise them as a mother or as what ? ,with love or bitterness ?.
Do you know the hatered she will feed to those kids ? ,do you know both you and the wife out of your own stupidity killed the joy and upbringing of your children ?.
The children deserve better ,so the punishment for the wayward woman is to ignore the sickness of the waist and allow her to raise the children under your supervision ,but this takes a life of PRAYER .Hear me ,like it or not she,ve not done BEYOND PARDON ,she did not do what no other human being has done ,she did not nail Christ on the cross for the second time.She did what was wrong and heart breaking but will you because of a rat that invaded your home and burn down the house to kill the rat ?.
Some will say ,it is disgusting ,but nothing is more disgusting than to make life of your children useless because you cannot abide by "for better for worse,in good health and in sickness" ,,what friends and family will wish you is to chase her away and marry another good woman ,but listen to me ,there is no better woman that the woman who bore you your children.That brings me to the next level ,,,,
HOW ABOUT IF THE KIDS ARE NOT MINE ,,,,
Some women who grew up in JEZEBEL VINE YARD will like to taunt the husband,especially in a conflict ,they may tell the husband that he is not the father of the children...but hear me ,if your wife is bold enough to tell you that you are not the father of your children or some of them ,hear me and please listen good.
Tell her that when you married her ,she did not come with children ,she came in single and as your wife ,therefore any child that comes from her loin as your wife is yours for life.After all you cannot tell which of the kids will be the next Obama or Bill gate,yahoo,twitter,face book ,but outside that no woman alive knows when she became pregnant to determine who is responsible ,i am talking about a woman who sleeps between two men at any giving month.Not even Doctors knows exactly when a woman concieves ,that,s why they always ask the woman "when was the last time you saw your mensturation" ,from that they will start calculation and they will give woman a tentative date of delivery ,because they do not know and will never know when a woman concieve.
Atimes they will tell you that DNA results said that "HE IS NOT YOUR CHILD" ,just ask the DNA to eat shit ,the child in question from the time the mother gave birth to him/her ,the child calls you father ,you call him SON/DAUGHTER ,there was nothing amiss ,nothing missing in him or her and you love and behold the child as yours ,then suddenly one virus infected machine which we know has no solution to birth or blood will tell you that ,the GOAL you scored is now a throw in and you agreed ?.
Let me ask you now ,did your own father take you to DNA to verify that he is your father ? ,i am sure he did not ,he loved you as his child without doubt ,so shall you love your own children ,DNA OR NOT .
DNA operator or the machine has never paid the bride price for another man ,has never stayed awake during pregnancy or stayed awake during nursing of a baby ,so they have nothing and know nothing about fatherhood.You changed the daiper or sing to the baby ,smiled a lovingly smile to the baby and whispered --I LOVE YOU to the baby ,so what changed ?,,,,forget the crap called DNA .It does not give life ,it destroys one ,do not accept one and do not take one ,if you ask me ,it is piss of garbage weaved in demonic kingdom to multiply heart attacks on human being,especially on men.
Let me tell us ,any child that was born in your house by your wife is your CHILD ,you do not need DNA to certify that any child that calls you father is yours and same child you call SON/DAUGHTER,,,will you tell the child that "Sorry you are no longer mine"? ,then know this - afo tara gi mmiri [there is no water in your stomach ,meaning you are crudely wicked to the core] ,my old man will say "ebe nwa siri bia uwa ya bili" [where ever a child comes into this world ,he should live].If your heart is still filled with bad feeling about the FATHERHOOD ,consider the Child adopted with more love than before.It won,t kill you but will save your life and that of the child,mother and family.
Back to wives sleeping with another man ,i am of the opinion that it should never be something that will be troubling men ,because ,it will give you HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE and you die and leave behind that same thing that cost you your life .It will cost you your valued children,leave you a useless man that mutters while walking on the road ,makes you a complainant and kill the joy in your life..ask your self ,if you did not see her do the THING will you notice the difference ? ,,NO ,i can answer for you ,so why are you shedding tears over something that does,nt worth the trouble ?.
If you think it has become dirty by that act with the other man ,why not WASH IT FOR HER and make it clean again ,and i bet you there is nothing spoil na the thing !!!.
If you take that affairs to heart ,automatically you lose your family ,life and sanity and plus your life can never be the same again.So why go throught that route ?it is road to perdiction.
If she do it outside report her to God ,if you do not believe in God ,then it is time you start believing ,if you are a believer and you think it is not possible ,then i want you to read what happened to ABRAM and SARAI in Egypt , after landing in Egypt when Pharoh saw that she was beautiful and take her as his wife,,,,,,,,sorry before you start kicking my behind let me remind you that ABRAM went to Egypt at the age of 77 and leave at the age of 99 ,which means for 20 years or thereabout his wife Sarai was married to Pharaoh ,because Pharoh gave him back his wife and ask him to take her and leave ..........just connect the dot,s but Abram did not throw away the wife ,because that same wife gave him ISAAC and that was the begining of ISREAL NATIONHOOD.
Joseph did not father JESUS and yet he accepted him with his whole heart and ,you know the rest of the history and life of JESUS.
A WOMAN WILL ASK ,HOW ABOUT IF MY HUSBAND SLEEP WITH ANOTHER WOMAN ..........
You know it before i answer you ,report him to God ..Two things ,he is stupid and sick but, the truth is that he is your husband.He did not drive you away to marry that good for nothing woman ,he was sneaking out to DO ,which tells me ,,,you are the AUTHENTIC ONE ,the one outside is just trying to sniff the whiff of what you had .Do not leave him- for if you do ,he may end up marrying that idiot outside and whose lost is that ? ,it is yours because you quit when you should,ve stayed and enjoy the blessing of your marriage.
If you quit you divide your family and, your chidren will grow up not knowing love ,what you need in that situation is NDIDI ,instead to get angry and give the man joy that he is torturing you ,start having happiness and thank God for being your strenght.Instead to cry about it ,laugh and rejoice that you have seen the weapon the devil wants to tear your family with ,then go to GOD and ask him for intervention.
Some women will even go as far as monitoring ,tracing the husband movement just to catch him on infidelity ,,,woman hear me ,the only thing you will get from such exercise is depression and heart attack .When you start on such road ,any woman you see around your husband will become a suspect and you will single handedly destroy your life and marriage..
Woman ,some of you are the reason,s why your husband prefer going outside ,some of you will encumber your husband with your PARENTS,brothers and sisters problem ,some of you will never mind the present bad conditions the man is facing but will demand for him what is highly impossible for him to obtain ,especially financial wise.
Some of you dress like your HUSBAND,S grand mother ,instead of a wife.Some dress like a CROSS OVER HARLOT instead of a married woman and some of you keep company of divorced woman.What do you think a divorced woman will teach you outside telling you "DO NOT TAKE THAT SHIT FROM ANY MAN,di gba kwa oku" ,well consider that it was that attitude that made her to be divorced and we all know that misery love company and they want many happy women to join them in thier misery,do not pay them mind.Take all the shit and crap in life and stay married,that is what seperates you from them.That is the crown that adorned your head and you make em jealous and they want to be like you but no way it can be,because they have burned thier bridge.
Women ,some of you refused to sit down and think of consequnce before they pull action ,let me say for instance for an AFRICAN WOMAN ,your husband is having affairs with a woman and you confront him with red eyes over such affairs ,having in mind that as AFRICAN he is entitled to marry many wives of his chosen ,which i will not delay to say is STUPIDITY, because one woman is enough headache and some people will multiply them.
If you confront the man and demand to know, WHO IS THAT WOMAN I SAW YOU WITH ?,how about if he tell you in a calm note "Dear ,now that you have breached the subject ,i wanted to delay it but seems you have found out ,it is best i use this opportunity to tell you.SHE IS THE WOMAN i wants to marry as second wife" ,,,,,,,,,shhhhhhhhhhhhh ,your brain will kindle like a gas stove ,you will hear piiiiiiiiiioooooooooo like a train of those days and you will come back to your senses and shout ,,,NOT IN THIS HOUSE ,TRY IT AND I WILL BREAK HER HEAD ,BRING HER HERE AND SEE WHAT I WILL DO ....
Now calm down and see the logic here ,instantly after you have brazingly asked the question that caused you grief ,you narrowed it .You now want him to see the woman outside the house but not to bring her in as a co -wife.Which empowers him now to be bold about her,what will be worrying the wife then ,is to make sure he did not bring her home as a wife.
But had the wife taking out time to report him and the outside woman to God ,and beg God to give her back the husband ,you will see that a big quarrel will start between them.The outside woman may start bringing bad luck to the man and the man will run for cover.Woman should know that for a man to choose to marry you out of billion in the world,means you are top on his mind,if he starts making out outside ,better ask yourself what changed ? ,where have you gone wrong ?.
There are questions we ask and we know that the answer we expect may be ugly and will ruin us, yet we demand to know ,so if you know it what will you do ?.
Why not let the unknown stay unknown ?.why fish for hidden trouble ,which when you found it ,it will be wahala unlimited .
i know some people will say ,how about if she/he gives me sexual diease ?,then you will have a reason to shamefully drag him or her to hospital and see him or her sweating like Chrismas goat ,,sickness are made to be cured ,better take some shame and save the children than to bark and break the marriage and destroy the lives of your own children.
On my closing ,i will suggest strongly that you STOP looking for faults from your SPOUSE ,there is no anus bend that you cannot see pieces of excreta ,stop looking for fault ,look for the good side and let the thing that drove you to marry the spouse be your turn on and not turn off.
Stop being a FAULT FINDER, for any of those fault you found ,will only destroy you.
Peace and Love !!!