NAGGING? This, unfortunately, is one problem that has often made a mince meat of most relationships. During courtship, for instance, the nagging trait is one of those ugly habits that people often try to suppress, tuck under their blouses or shirts as they aim for the ultimate ticket, a marriage proposal. Nature, however, cannot be cheated, hence sooner than even the trait carrier would imagine, the tucked away ugly load starts bulging from the cage, and eventually explodes.
If the male partner happens to be on the receiving side and at same time hot tempered, good luck to the lady as she risks blistered face and pounded body. But should the man possess the emotions distorting nagging armour, the lady also finds herself at the receiving end; and where the duo are hot tempered, then the home would often be aflame from their verbal missile cross-fires. Caught in any of these saddening nagging siege situations, the partners, in their sane moments will always look back to the glorious beginnings and wish they could put back the hand of the clock. At the crossroads, as regrets start sipping into the once cherished relationships, advisers also troop in from all corners with suggestions that could further inflame the already bad situation.
But then, Tango Tackles believes that when caught in the web of a nagging partner, it should not be the end of the world. It is one of the many bugging challenges of relationships which can easily be dealt with, if only the pair in the affected relationship remember as a popular adage goes that too many cooks spoil the broth.
By implication, when the nagging bug stings a relationship, it is the wrong time for complaining to everyone that cared to listen as some of the pieces of advice such action might elicit, if applied strictly, could spill the beans. Definitely, one of the stakeholders: the man or the woman loses out in every of such riotous tango and never the advisers, whom Tango Tackles prefers to tag as third party and avoidable intruders.
Instances abound to drive home the point being made by Tango Tackles. First, about two years ago, there was this couple from Abia State that Tango Tackles stumbled on, lurked in a ranging nagging war. On enquiring from the woman what was amiss, she instead of offering explanations rained more abuses on her hubby a banker who had lost his job a few months earlier. The crux of the matter was lack of money for the up keep of the household. The woman, Grace, whose oil job was still intact, suddenly lost sight of the fact that her hubby, Johnson, used to put down funds even before the demands came, until the mishap. Grace resorted to nagging and yelling at the nerved man in the open every now and then, perhaps to elicit sympathy or is it support from neighbours. While some of the neighbours enjoyed the drama, others offered all sorts of advice to both sides in the war. Fade up with the shame show, Johnson recently decided to get back at his now wild wife; he left a deep cut on her upper lip so she could stop nagging. Of course, that definitely is a bitter way of settling such a challenge.
In a second case, a man had his skull bone cracked with an iron rod by Mercy, his once loving wife. Trouble started when virtually everything that Mercy did was criticised by hubby James. The couple who are resident in Lagos had a very short courtship before they got married as James cherished the relationship with Mercy. But soon after their wedding, he started complaining about her cooking, dressing, hair styles, habits and all. He unwittingly turned a nag while Mercy was the reserved type of partner but of quick temper. Therefore she speaks less, but once fuming with anger could destroy anything on her way. Terrible temper for a woman one would say. But on one bad evening, James got an eyeful of wrath from Mercy for criticising her dinner outfit as looking more of a sleeping gown. James never knew the gravity of such a casual jibe at Mercy who had spent a fortune on the apparel, until his face was covered with blood gushing from cuts on his head. Mercy who vented her anger to curbing the nagging embarrassment, recoiled and rushed he victim off for medical attention. But again, the relationship has already been dented with that scar from nagging, and may never be the same.
When the two in the relationship talk over those weaknesses that could trigger nagging and agree on how to steer clear of each other's trouble then the challenge would be silenced in that relationship. But where the partners fail to dialogue, and caution themselves to check their emotional outbursts and save the relationship by remaining glued to that initial affection, complications thrive. At this point, only the healing balm from the throne of Grace would stave off a collapse of the nagging infested affair.
Healing Balm: Couples should always be the mirror of their partner so there would be no room for borrowing from neighbours as that could be dangerous.
Poser: Can one pinch self and scream at a passer-by for help? And if you find your young relationship sagging suddenly what would you do?