Marriage is divine and sacred. Every individual who did not opt for life of celibacy eagerly looks forward to the day he or she will say “I do.” But just as every individual is different, every marriage is also different. While some husbands are well to do, others are not. But does the economy of a man determine the level of love, peace and understanding that exist between him and his wife?
We went to town to get the views of ‘Lagosians’ about the differences between rich and poor husbands and how it contributes to the success of marriage.
No difference, whether rich or poor, men don’t take care of women – Uju
I am not among those who believe that men take care of their wives. I don’t think any man can take care of his wife in the actual sense of it. As far as I am concerned, any woman who sits back to wait for her rich or poor husband to come and pamper her is wasting her time. He may brainwash you to believe that, but it’s all deception. The best bet is for every woman to realize that over 90 per cent of men hardly create time to be with their wives. So, many women are there in their marriages just because of money but we all know that money cannot buy love. Any woman who wants to take care of herself can do that without waiting for her hubby.
Rich hubby’s never there but his money speaks for him – Mrs Ndubu, Head Teacher
When you look at the differences between rich and poor husbands, you notice that the rich have so much to spend while the poor have so little or even nothing to spend as the case may be. Likewise, rich husbands have so much to think and worry about more than their poor counterparts. All these affect marriage differently.
Rich men are highly respected and valued both in the church and society because of their donations as against poor men who always toil to see that works are accomplished. The rich are not always there but their money is speaking for them, but the poor who usually have so little to give are always available . If you go to any church or even social gathering, you’ll see many wives of rich men without their husbands. So, rich men’s money is always there as they travel around but poor husbands may not always have enough to give but they are always there in person to share the little they have with their wives.
Rich hubby insults, poor hubby respects – Azuma Koffi, Togolese
I am a father of five and from experience; I’ll not want any of my daughters to marry a rich man because it is usually associated with insult, embarrassment, and neglect. No matter how strong they loved each other during courtship, quarrel is bound to come and he would surely utter contemptuous statements. So, I’ll not want any man to tell my daughter that it was because of his wealth that she ran to him.
I would rather want a man that would settle disputes with my daughter amicably. Such things have happened severally in my home country, Togo. It is better for a woman to marry a man whom she would partner with to build their marriage. If one’s husband becomes rich after their marriage, there would be no room for such insult . Poor husbands do not have such attitude. Also, women always enjoy watching their husbands eat their cooking. Rich husbands hardly stay around to offer their wives such privilege, while their poor counterparts are always there to give their wives warmth and tenderness.
Most rich husbands pay more attention to their wealth than their marriage – Hon Boniface Ike
There are different categories of riches and wealth. As far as I know, most rich husbands only pay attention to their business and wealth. Love and understanding is what matters in any relationship. I know of a man in my village who was so poor that he and his wife did menial jobs to sustain themselves. They never quarreled for one day. Today, their son is adjudged the richest man in our town. I also know a number of women who got married to rich men only to separate shortly after. So, intending couples should look out for love rather than riches. Where there is inadequate love, no amount of wealth can buy peace and understanding. So, the poor couple that I spoke about earlier were poor laborers, but they were peaceful and happy with each other even in poverty.
Poor husbands better with tender, loving care – Chukwudi Chiaghanam
Some girls scramble to marry rich men because of the status they aim to attain in the society. You know, almost all young ladies in Nigeria want to belong. They want to be pace setters. Any man who can satisfy their financial need is their dream man. So, since it is only steady supply of money that can guarantee targeted status, they just grab any rich man that comes their way not minding how he made his money.
The result is that soon after such marriage is contracted, it heads for the rocks because the lady finds out that money can’t buy everything. She may attempt to use her hubby’s money to buy love from another man. Politicians, business men and top government officials who always travel from place to place for meeting and rallies, only make more than enough money available for their wives but they are hardly there for them in person. Those married to poor men have access to whatever their husbands have, including adequate love and tenderness. Their husbands are always available for them.
Poor husbands help with house chores—-Fidelia Anocha
My husband and I live like brother and sister. He assists me in doing household chores. Sometimes he helps to do the laundry. He would not live home to anywhere without telling me. Whenever he is away from home, he always calls to know the situation at home. We are blessed with four children and we are happy and contented. I don’t remember when last we quarreled. Though sometimes we argue but it is for the good of the family and our children. He is a very caring husband and I don’t have any regrets marrying him. He is a mechanical engineer.
I need a man who understands me——Regina Omosola
I feel happy getting married to someone who understands me. He buys me anything that he thinks can make me look fine. He is a man that does not bother much about what people say. He likes keeping to himself and his family. Sometimes he goes out with friends probably to enjoy himself, but I am sure he does not womanize. Naturally, we quarrel sometimes but we never allow it to last till another day. He buys things like foodstuff himself on his way home from work. He is a salesman.
Though we’re not rich, but we’re comfortable——-Anthonia
I’m happy getting married to my husband. Although we are not so rich but we are comfortable. We have our own house and our children are in good schools. He is a clearing and forwarding agent. There are times he goes out without telling me but he will call later to let me know his whereabouts. He buys me anything I want. If he is annoyed over anything I know, because he will either be moody or he will stay at the veranda and take a drink probably two or three bottles of beer. Once I notice that, I know that there is something troubling him. He sometimes helps dress my youngest child for school. Apart from that, my oga does not have time for anything.
My husband knows the size of everything I wear—-Moji Adewunmi
My husband shares everything with me. He does not keep anything secret from me. He is a different husband who can do anything to please his family. He buys anything for me. He knows the sizes of everything I wear. I don’t know or I can’t remember when last we argued over anything. He is caring not only to me but to his children as well. That’s important for me . He is an engineer.
Mine surprises me with gifts—-Clara Olawunmi
I don’t like discussing my family in public, but I can tell you that I have a good husband. Well, I would not say he is very rich but he is capable of taking care of the family. Sometimes we go out for shopping together and he is a man who delights in surprising you with unexpected gifts. He is not a night crawler. Most times he stays in door with his family. He is into estate management.