Nigerian soul, gospel singer and songwriter, Sola Allyson has dished out a piece of advice to men who have been mis-trained, mind mis-conditioned which had being given a mis-representation of manhood.

According to her, RESPECT is not automatic, must be earned, she shared on a Facebook post.

She wrote:

Dear Men,

This is my first love letter to you in this new year. May you find all the help you need this year, this season. May our friendship grow. May we have full rewards from this friendship, both of us.

You know I love you, right? As much as I hit the nail on the head when I write to you, I do love you. The love might be tough though because my friendship with you is for the purpose of your newness. The old you has to give way, because of the way you had been mis-trained and your mind mis-conditioned which had given you a mis-representation of manhood thereby shortchanging you from having full joy and being fulfilled as a Man.

I hope our discussions last year helped you to see more clearly that the reason your Woman might not be “submitting” to you and it’s paining you is because you’ve not earned it with HER? F’ara ba’lẹ̀ at this point o, please, no defences.

I hope you rememeber that RESPECT is not automatic and you must EARN it? We discussed that EVERYONE desires respect as EVERYBODY desires to be loved, remember?

As also mentioned, do you remember to read the Holy Books well and put into practice, where your own RESPONSIBILITIES are stated BEFORE expecting respect and submission?

I have begun this year’s letters with this same topic because that is the first reason why your joy with your Woman is not full and why it’s looking like she’s not a “Proverbs 31 Woman”, or not a “Woman of virtue”. See these quotes, we’ll discuss them later but the basis for CONFLICT THAT STEALS YOUR JOY is what we discuss now. AND it’s a thing you cannot overlook if your joy must be full, and I know you want that joy, that’s why I’m putting my mouth on it gbọ́nmọgbọ́nmọ – what’s the English of this word?

You talk to me, so I know you. You crave that love too. You have emotions. You deserve tenderness. You seek that kind of care that’s more than cooking for you and washing your clothes!

You deeply desire connection too. There’s a gulf within you that can only be filled with that connection. But it’s getting deeper because of…

I’ll post the rest of my thoughts later…

We are having full joy this year, all of us, as we “humanize” together!