I started this very topic last week and decided to do the concluding part of it today. Have you started practising those few tips I gave out last week? Here is the concluding part of this article.
•He appreciates the fear of God in you.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised. The greatest legacy you can leave for your children is that of righteousness and godly living. The heart of your husband trusts you more when he finds out that you are close to God and actually lives it.
•Being respected is more important than being loved.
Civilization is good, but it has also done so much to destroy our values. Women used to allow their husbands discuss privately with friends, business partners, and relations. I know some men still download everything for the woman once they get into the bedroom (this is highly commendable), but it would be nice if you allow him be in the presence of friends and relations.
There is a place that is for the man alone in every relationship. How do you think he feels knowing you call him all sorts of names and slap him in public only to wake up the next morning professing love without end? I know you are too educated and civilized to allow a man toy with you, but the truth remains that he will toy with you once in a while. No amount of love can take the place of respect for a man in a relationship.
•Look sexy at all times
It is really sad how some women lose their sense of style the moment they become Mrs. XYZ. That man saw you and fell in love with you and your looks. He admired your style and hair-do; he was always running home to meet his wife who would be dressed in sexy lingerie. But things have fallen apart since the day your baby arrived and now the man, after seeing all the very beautiful ladies while at work, goes home to a wife who ties wrapper all through the evening and goes to bed in it. Madam, please help your husband by spending less on the Brazilian hair and Iman powder; use the money for some good, sexy night wears and lingerie. If your body is flabby, a little exercise would help fix you.
When a man enters the house on a daily basis with the thought of being welcome by a nagging wife, he starts looking for a better and more peaceful hideout somewhere outside the home. He is your husband and not your baby. If you know you got him from God and through the right means, there is no point struggling to keep him; your good character will keep him, but he will go if he is not yours. You should also work on your self-esteem and step up a bit if you think you are not good enough for him.
•He wants to be well fed
Our women are gradually losing it when it comes to proper feeding of the family. Marriage is not about you being good in bed; what happens to the man after the good sex with no good food from his wife?
•He wants to be envied for having you
I believe you know what this means. Your man wants to be praised, honoured, and called blessed by his friends just for having you as his wife. A good wife will ever remain the crown and glory of her husband. Your man cannot be proud to have you by his side when all you do is fight on the street and gossip from one house to the other.
What about your physical looks? I felt so sad the day I saw a man well dressed in jeans and t-shirt only for his wife to walk in with one Ankara that made her look like his mother. Ladies, please try to brush up a bit especially when you find your husband moving to a higher position.
This could be his reason for keeping you at the background in church and having that deaconess take your place in the running of the church. This could be the reason he does not take you along to business dinner and his company’s end of the year party. Please step up a bit and learn how to make heads turn whenever you walk in. You should know how to dress to suit all occasions.
I also advise women to make efforts to move higher in their education whenever they see a man aspiring for a new status at work. He wants to be able to flaunt you before his friends and colleagues without the fear of you acting or doing something to tarnish his image. Don’t let him start looking for the very educated ones to relate with; get up and get some good education.
•Invite him on a dinner date once in a while
We are brought up to believe that a man’s cross in life is to be our ATM. I agree with you and that is the principle of nature, but you have to sometimes foot the bills, madam. Our men feel special when we invite them for a date and actually take care of the bills. A good number of them will opt to pay at the end of the day, but they will ever appreciate you in their heart.
I also have this habit of making sure my man looks good. It could be very tough with a man who is full of ego and who hates being advised by a woman. If you don’t like how he dresses, don’t dump him or probably sit far with your friends during occasions; you should have a way of making him dress well and to your taste (that’s if you have a good fashion sense).
•Cigarettes make you cheap and easy
You may not agree with this, but I know a good number of people think this way. This has nothing to do with timidity, but the first impression people have about you when they see you smoke as a woman is that you are not a happy person, you are a very cheap whore and one of those women who live in the club, you have no morals and good upbringing, and you are simply frustrated.
•Please don’t drop the pet names
He was honey, sugar-pie, baby, and ololufe before the baby came. The baby has come and now you are a member of your village meeting. The one time honey-pie has become “baba Iyabo and “papa Nkechi”. In doing this, you are indirectly telling him you are no longer the sexy baby, but “mama Iyabo” and “mama Nkechi”.
•He wants you to have
It does not take too much effort to know a woman with very high self-esteem. A woman that is high in self-esteem will never waste her precious time discussing other people. A woman with a very high self-esteem does not live a life of constant suspicion. You are making life miserable for him and nagging him out of the house just because you have failed to deal with the terrible disease called low self-esteem.
•He loves it when you smile
A woman who smiles has a way of reaching the deepest part of a man’s heart. A woman of cheerful countenance finds her husband and even his friends addicted to her. There is nothing as healing and soothing to a man as his wife opening the door for him with a cheerful face. There is this glory and aura that surrounds you when you have a free spirit.
I used to be a very good listener, but after my bitter experiences in marriage, I started feeling I was taken advantage of because of those virtues that I exhibited in marriage. This made me become very defensive and kind of saucy. But during my morning devotion someday, I read the passage of the scripture that asks us to be quick to hear and slow to speak. This made me start praying and with the help of God, I am learning again to keep calm at all times and this is really working in my relationship.
I didn’t just get here; I found myself here due to past experiences. Maybe you found him taking advantage of your goodness and godly qualities. You could have seen your friends who exchange words in public with their man succeed in their marriage; this does not make it right. Don’t let what other people do make you change in the negative.
•Learn to say “I am sorry”
I am one person who cannot keep malice. I forget things the moment they happen and I forgive easily. This made me live to be crawling on my knees begging a man for peace to reign in the home even when he was always wrong. When the marriage came to an end, I promised myself never to apologise to a man again. I tried this severally, but you know true love has a way of breaking you in pieces without you knowing it. There is nothing wrong in you being the one to apologise for peace to reign in your home. It doesn’t make you the weak party, it says just one thing; you are a real woman.
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