This week we are taking on a very tough one. The question is “What should a woman do if she found out that some other woman was pregnant for her husband?”
You know there are some things that are so easy to say and advise and most people believe and trust their spouses so much that they think it can never happen to them.

The truth? God forbid it, but it could happen to anybody. Most women have absolute trust in their spouses and they just cannot imagine that happening. Almost everyone wants to boast that their spouse would never cheat on them. For those who have experienced it, it was the greatest shock of their life. Most women who have found themselves in this situation did not even have the slightest idea that the man was cheating on them.

A man comes and tells his wife that another woman is pregnant for him, what does she do. He is so sorry, he is full of remorse, and feels bad that this has happened. The other woman on the other hand is bent on having the baby. To her, it is not fair.

First of all we all know he slept with her. Most likely he did it more than once and he enjoyed it. . At the same time he claims that he loves his wife. It is so unforgivable. That thought alone would drive any woman crazy.

The more I think of it, the more I think it really is a mind set. Lets turn it the other way around. A man finds out that his wife has been having an affair. The first reaction for real is to get rid of her.

The truth is, for many people the fear of what others would say is the utmost on their mind. It is not really about what they feel, but how much of a fool they would look like before the whole world. For most if no one knew about it, they could live with it. Does that make sense?

Like I said, it is all in the mind, and it is all about our orientation and the way we have been raised, especially as Africans.

I am not saying it is right, but it is hard to say though. I say we should not let it happen. We shouldn’t cheat on each other. Marriage is so deep, so many things are involved. The children for instance.
One woman said if she found out that some woman was pregnant for her husband, she would not give her husband up for that.

She would scrub him clean, and take him back. She would make sure he realized that what he did was wrong. She said she would make him realize what damage that one incidence could cause her and her children in future.

Damn!!! She said. How would the two of them work so hard to build all they have and one stranger that knew nothing about their struggle come and take a big chunk off stuff that should have been for their children.

The other woman would have to contend with taking care of her child by herself. She said she would even make sure that the husband fulfils his financial obligations towards the child, just that he would have to do it through her. She said she would make sure that her husband is not exposed to her in any way.

In fact, when he is still at that stage where he is really sorry, the only condition she would give him is never to see the woman or any other woman again. End of story.

Another woman says there is no way she could live with it. Every time she sees him, she remembers how he betrayed hey. Every time he tries to make love to her all she would imagine is him on top of her, and psychologically, the marriage is dead.

She said she would just walk out of that marriage and move on instead of allowing the man to turn her into a nervous wreck. She said her husband would not forgive it if another man slept with her, not to even imagine that she became pregnant for another man.

She said “get rid of him. This man cheated. He cannot be trusted. By getting another woman pregnant, he betrayed the trust of his wife.”

Like I said, it really is a tough one. We women must learn to subtly educate our men on the implications of many things. It is deeper that the wifey you know. Many battle lines have been drawn this way, and most of the time, the men started it.

If only that man had stayed at home and enjoyed his wife and children, then no one would be in the mess. Many men create a situation where all their life they have murdered peace. No peace at home, no peace with the mistress. It leads to short life. Be wise